From Fear to Respect of Horses

We get to see so many triumphs at the ranch that it truly has become a place of victory. It's just a matter of time to see it manifest. However, the greatest of those triumphs have been known to come with the greatest of fears. Becky...who can forget her? She came to the ranch with one of the greatest displays of fear I've ever witnessed personally. She was deathly afraid of horses but had to be there to complete our basic horsemanship program to satisfy her school's work study program alongside her classmates. I've watched her back into the corner of stalls to avoid contact with horses; literally freeze in motion in the presence of horses. I've watched her shake uncontrollably; transition from one state of shock to the next. I saw her turn purple and watched fear violently paralyze her. Most would think that she was trying to crawl her way out of a pit of rattlesnakes in witness of her responses. I eventually challenged her to trust me that she'd be confident enough to ride in 3 months time. She declared that she'd never touch a horse and didn't care what consequences she'd have to face from her school authorities. Let's pause here to say that fear is one big lie. It is fed and thrives by one's belief in its content. It has no power of its own. It needs human power to survive...and that power is belief. Although, there are plenty of reasons to respect a horse's nature and adjust to its behavior, it is a terrible miscalculation to fear one. As a result of this miscalculation, we were left with some heart-wrenching episodes watching fear consume, control, and torment our guest. Thankfully we knew the antidote to fear. It's love...and we believe perfect love casts out all fear.

This lead us to the first of our steps which was simply to allow Becky to fear. We wanted her to know that we approved of her just the way she was. In this way, she could accept and trust us...key components and concepts to driving out fear. Once she trusted us, she gradually believed in our protection of her...not just from mean old predatory horses but from every and anything that could bring harm to her. Eventually she came to know our ranch staff as people who cared about her. The more time you spend with people who care about you, the more you identify with them. Consequently, you are influenced by them and subconsciously adopt their attitudes and behaviors. This was Becky's transition from fear to respect of horses. In the process, we simply praised her at every step she made to get physically closer to horses. As a result, she'd get closer and closer. In time she lost her fear of being around and making contact with them. She even became confident to groom them. There was nothing more required of her from her school officials nor Son Bride's program. However, nothing would prepare our staff for the last day. Becky asked to ride the beast she once thought would end her existence with the power of its neigh piercing through the Colorado air. As she mounted, her fear revisited but she choked it with such an iron fist of courage that when her time was up, she asked to ride again. Our once fearful guest ended up riding longer than any other student that day. It was a marvel to watch.

In final thoughts, we often have misconceptions about fear and how to deal with it. There are many well intended methods and slogans like "grab the bull by the horns" that have left people frustrated and deeply wounded by the horns. The truth is you cannot grab the bull by the horns without the antidote to tame the fear of the bull...or horse in Becky's case. As mentioned earlier, the antidote to fear is love. In the beginning Becky had no concept of our love for her. She could not accept us nor trust our seemingly irrational fearlessness and confidence around horses. She could not adopt these as her own until love had taken more of her than fear. This was proven in our, now, fearless guest when she was revisited by her fear upon mounting the horse. In contrast to her start at the ranch she, at this time, carried the antidote with her. She had been loved which created in her a sense of confidence, security, and safety. She was able to shed the lies, deceit, and paralytic control of fear upon its reappearance because that's love's high rank above fear. What we do is not the antidote; it's what we have. Love itself dismantles fear and fear knows it's place far below love. It's terrified of love as it cannot exist in love's presence. Ancient Hebrew manuscripts rest confirmed: "there is no fear in love."